If elected I will …

From The Internet Oracle, 1500-02:

Selected-By: Christophe <xof@chanticleer.com>

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Pardon the repeat, but I think you're pulling my leg.

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} Not at all.  If elected, I will:
} - bring the budget into balance while cutting taxes and
}    investing in job-creating infrastructure;
} - increase retirement and health benefits while adding
}    oversight over unneeded expenditures and reducing
}    payroll deductions;
} - trim military spending while taking an exceptionalist
}    stance versus our enemies and restoring our standing
}    with allies;
} - reduce spiraling prison costs while getting tough on
}    violent crime and increasing the penalties for drug use;
} - cut illegitimate births while eliminating subsidies for
}    abortion and for contraception;
} - increase personal freedom while supporting faith-based
}    initiatives and de-funding our failing public schools;
} - support the little guy at last while deregulating big
}    business and eliminating limits on campaign donations.
} In January, of course, I reserve the right to re-evaluate
} each of these policies based upon changing conditions.
} You owe the Oracle your vote.